Things Parents Should Never Say To Their Kids
Parenting is no easy task. In fact, it’s one of the most important and demanding positions in the world. You are responsible for molding a child into a fully functioning and responsible adult with the right values. It’s no lie that you spend a good portion of parenthood fearing whether you’ve said or done the wrong thing.
While there are some obvious things that everyone know shouldn’t be said to a child, there are more subtle and indirect things that can cause the same amount of trauma and damage. Make sure you never say these to your kids. They may seem harmless, but allow us to explain how they can be highly damaging.
- “Why can’t you be more like…?”
Comparing your child to another is one of the worst things you could do to your kid. Not only does it encourage an unhealthy competitive mindset but it can also lower your child’s self-esteem. It makes them believe they are not good enough and makes it likely that they too will grow up comparing themselves to others. Instead of comparing them to their siblings or their friends, encourage healthy and positive co-operation.
- “Practice makes perfect.”
Despite being one of the most repeated sayings, this three-word phrase is not as harmless as it seems. In fact, if you say this to your kid often, it can only lead to an unhealthy amount of pressure on them. It makes them believe that if they do not succeed in something or they make a mistake, it is because they did not practice hard enough, which isn’t always the case. Instead, teach your kid to put in the effort to things and work hard so they can grow and feel good about themselves.
- “It shouldn’t hurt that much.”
When your child has an accident – whether they fall or bump into something- it’s natural for them to cry. Understand that they are crying because something unpleasant has happened, and they are clearly not okay. Don’t invalidate or belittle their pain by telling them things like “It shouldn’t hurt that much” or “You’re okay”. Instead, help them understand their emotions. Offer a hug and let them know you acknowledge their feeling by saying things like “That was scary.”
- “You asked for it.”
Using this phrase with your kids means that you’re bringing them up by threatening them. Research has shown that such threats of violence or punishment only make kids more likely to develop anti-social and violent behavior. Instead, help your kids understand that actions have consequences in a healthy manner.
Leave comments if you have any other ideas.
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